11. "I saved ice from a puddle in my backpack, but I think someone stole it."
10. "You are the prettiest substitute teacher I've ever had!"
9. "I don't want to look in the mirror because I am afraid of the skeletons in there."
8. "It's cold and my hands want to go inside."
7. "How do you spell 'colossal squid'"?
6. "It smells like there is a horse parked nearby."
5. "I wish I had a penis."
4. "Mommy didn't shower today!"
3. "When I grow up I'm going to either be an engineer or a rabbit."
2. "It's my daddy's birthday. I'm guessing he's like...either 34 or 70."
1."If you want, you can come to my house and use my time machine. Bring your kids."
This is just a sampling of the gems I hear at schools. I'll try to keep better track and post another list soon.