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Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Funny Things Children Have Said To Me

Here is a brief collection of some ridiculous things small children have said to me while I've been substitute teaching:

11. "I saved ice from a puddle in my backpack, but I think someone stole it."

10. "You are the prettiest substitute teacher I've ever had!"

9. "I don't want to look in the mirror because I am afraid of the skeletons in there."

8. "It's cold and my hands want to go inside."

7. "How do you spell 'colossal squid'"?

6. "It smells like there is a horse parked nearby."

5. "I wish I had a penis."

4. "Mommy didn't shower today!"

3. "When I grow up I'm going to either be an engineer or a rabbit."

2. "It's my daddy's birthday. I'm guessing he's like...either 34 or 70."

1."If you want, you can come to my house and use my time machine. Bring your kids."


This is just a sampling of the gems I hear at schools. I'll try to keep better track and post another list soon.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

More Keeper Quotes

Here are a few quotes I've gathered this week at work. If you're in the zoo business, these comments might be commonplace; if not, you'll appreciate the unusual (to other people) circumstances we encounter daily.

"Will you be at a point where you can stop cutting up bodies soon?"

"This poop is so sloppy, I don't even want to pick it up!" (This is amusing to me because it illustrates that the speaker would otherwise be glad to pick up feces.)

"Claaaarrrrkkk! AAAAAAGH!" Shrieked by one of the green-wing macaws. Clark is the name of our king vulture.

"Hooray, the iguana pooped!"

"Let us know if the aardvark tries to eviscerate you."

"I thought that porcupine was never going to leave!"

"I saw millipede sex this morning."

And, for your viewing pleasure, here is a tawny frogmouth enjoying a misting shower from a squirt bottle:



Not exactly action-packed, I know. I'll try to film something more riveting, but it's difficult since I am rarely carrying my camera when the exciting parts of the day are happening.

I did have time (plenty of it) to take a photo of this radiated tortoise having a salad:

Note that this tortoise, Jumbo Jet, was making some important phone calls before he took his lunch break. He has to use the phone book instead of dexknows because....his internet connection is too slow!

Jumbo Jet is a trained tortoise--we don't know of any other trained tortoises, so we think he's one-of-a-kind! I will attempt to film a training session to showcase his abilities soon.

If you have any quotes to add, post them in the comments!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Quotes from a Day in the Life of a Zookeeper

Those of us who work in the zoo field become accustomed to things that most people just don't see in a regular day...or lifetime. Here is a glimpse into the daily conversations that simply don't (and shouldn't!) happen anywhere else. If you're part of the zoo world yourself, you are probably already familiar with quotes like these:

Rather exuberantly: "When the chicks are frozen, you can pop their heads right off!"

"Will you pass me that fish head, please?"

"What kind of pee is in the hallway?"

"Sorry I can't do that right now--I have to take the armadillo to a birthday party."

"Let me change my shoes really fast because the kookaburra hates these boots."


And try asking this question in the office to see how many volunteers you get: "Who wants to eat these beetles?!"


Aan aadorable aardvark does, aamong others.

More zoo posts to come!