Funny Things Children Have Said To Me

Here is a brief collection of some ridiculous things small children have said to me while I've been substitute teaching:

11. "I saved ice from a puddle in my backpack, but I think someone stole it."

10. "You are the prettiest substitute teacher I've ever had!"

9. "I don't want to look in the mirror because I am afraid of the skeletons in there."

8. "It's cold and my hands want to go inside."

7. "How do you spell 'colossal squid'"?

6. "It smells like there is a horse parked nearby."

5. "I wish I had a penis."

4. "Mommy didn't shower today!"

3. "When I grow up I'm going to either be an engineer or a rabbit."

2. "It's my daddy's birthday. I'm guessing he's like...either 34 or 70."

1."If you want, you can come to my house and use my time machine. Bring your kids."


This is just a sampling of the gems I hear at schools. I'll try to keep better track and post another list soon.